Silence

Silence

You can say that silence is an uncomfortable aspect of most people’s lives. For so many people silence can be interpreted as a sort of awkwardness, or an uneasy situation, but many times it can mean the exact opposite. When things and people are silent, it allows room for free thought and internal expression. The ability to think is a gift itself, but when we smother our thoughts and artistic integrity with music, television, and conversation all the time, you are not reaching your full potential as a thinker. I don’t think you have to be incredibly intelligent to understand the world. Yes, being a college graduate who has studied across waters and with the many people that inhabit our planet may have a slight advantage as to those who were not as fortunate in their learning years, but all it takes is a great thinker. When are the learning years anyway, in my opinion our learning years are never finished. We learn things each and everyday, we are all students of life. To have a full understanding of the world, one must look deep into the mind and pull out the most hidden unanswered questions. I’m sure this can only be done through silence.
I don’t mind silence, I enjoy it quiet often, but I even find myself more at ease when the fan is on in my bedroom. I may not always have music, and I don’t have a television, but I always turn the fan on before I go to sleep, when I get ready, when I clean, when I write, anything, it’s always on. I think it helps me concentrate more, it puts me at ease to hear the blissful sound of the air circulating around me. This may make sense to me, but I never took the time to stop and ask myself why? Why do I need the fan on all he time and why does it now make me uncomfortable without it? It started from a bit of relaxation when I was a kid but grew into an absolute necessity for my way of life. Weird, but true. Maybe it’s because I’m scared to be alone with my own thoughts, maybe we all are. I don’t mean to flatter myself, but I think I am an excellent thinker, and enjoy writing it, but when I first became a writer I tended to always avoid getting into certain topics that take a strenuous amount of thinking and energy. Maybe we all just don’t have the energy, or maybe we are all so scared to face the simple, yet complex truth. If we all sat in silence, we would eventually think about death, love, and life. Words so simple, yet so powerful. They can mean so much and so much to one person and so little to another.
Most people hate silence because they are scared to be alone with their own thoughts. This is intimidating because it opens up an unknown world, a world in which all are thinkers and artists, a world we are not used to. We are not used to this type of world because mankind has changed over time. During the Renaissance there were no I pods and electronics. There were no televisions to blur out the day’s conflicts. It was a time of philosophical thought, music, art and creative writing. The music produced was completely original and came from the mind of a silent place. They were not concentrated on the clamor of the media or brainwashed by propaganda; they had a mind of their own because of silence.
Through silence, you can really take a moment to reflect on a day’s lesson, or analyze experiences that have changed you. We could find many subjective answers our hearts seek and use them in the future to improve ourselves as better people. We could probably grieve quicker and enjoy life. Many people may not like the idea because when grieving, or dealing with a breakup, they want to be distracted rather than actually facing the situation head on, thinking about the reasons behind it, then accepting it for what it is. I used to be one of those people. There was a period in my life where I didn’t cry for about three years. It was when my parents got divorced; I was so young. I never cried because I was a big sister, and at that age I thought I had to be a rock for my younger sister. She could never see me cry, or it would make her cry even worse. I had to grow up fast for both our sakes; we were alone. I cried at night when she was asleep, and I always hid my emotions, I was a very good pretender. When I was about eleven or twelve, I stopped crying all together, I thought it was a waste of energy and there was no point to it because it wouldn’t change anything. I thought crying made you weak. I went through a long period of time without crying, because I thought it would make me stronger if I didn’t. As you can imagine, it only made things much worse. Everytime I would get upset, I would blast the radio, watch endless movies, and even get lost in books to distract me. I was scared of silence, and I was scared of my own thoughts. This stayed bottled up inside for years, and resulted in misbehavior and terrible grades in middle school. I had major trust issues, and questioned love itself, not only because of my parent’s divorce but other things that happened following it. The transition between eighth grade and high school was life changing for me. I will never forget that summer because it changed me as a person, I did a lot of thinking and most of it was spent in silence. I now cry for a simple piece of art, the eloquent sound of the piano, a beautiful song or poem, an extravagant picture or even a soothing voice. Maybe it was because I had so many tears to let out, I’m not exactly sure. The important thing is now I’m not afraid to admit it, and I know it doesn’t make you a weak person, just an appreciative one. I went from straight F’s in school to about 3.5 grade averages. I channeled all my negative energy in an artistic ways such as writing, making collages, photography, and I’m about to learn to play the piano. I set goals for myself I never had before, like going to college and becoming and Anthropologist and a Journalist. I use silence actively to vent my emotions. I now go running early every morning before school without my I pod, and do Yoga, and most importantly I write every day, whether it’s several pages, or a single sentence. I also do a lot of community service to take off stress and heal my past. I love giving my help to people in need, and feel somewhat obligated now.
Those who are afraid of their own thoughts, and have not found their inner artistic self should receive the help of those who have. Silence is powerful and so are words, we can change the way we live if we just take the time to listen. We need to take the time to listen to the sound of nothing, listen to your heart, your mind, your creativity, and your integrity. Next time you take a walk in don’t listen to an I pod or talk on the phone, natures whispers will speak to you.